Rethinking Masculinity: How to Talk About Men's Mental Health Without Bias

In contemporary times, talking about masculinity and the challenges faced by men means entering a terrain full of tensions and divergent opinions.

When we discuss issues such as men's mental health, vulnerability or even the impacts of emotional repression, it is not uncommon for certain statements to end up generating an immediate counterpoint.

A common phrase that illustrates this type of dynamic is:

“Not every man, but always a man.”

This type of comment can be deeply uncomfortable for many men. After all, it carries an implicit generalization that, directly or indirectly, places a burden of guilt on all men. And while it is true that gender-based violence is a serious and prevalent problem, the issue becomes more complex when we think about the impact of generalizations, which can end up alienating precisely those who most need support to transform themselves.

From my experience and studies, I realize that when a wounded man does not find space to express himself or feels safe to seek help, he can react in a destructive way, like a cornered animal . He does not know how to process his pain or his frustration due to repression and cultural 'boxing' and, without healthy alternatives, he can end up hurting himself and others, including women . It is precisely at this point that the dialogue about masculinity becomes so necessary.

The Challenge of Healthy Dialogue

However, how can we approach the issue of masculinity without falling into the trap of polarization?

Carl Jung once said that any assertive opinion inevitably generates an opposing tension (conscious or unconscious), and perhaps this is why so many conversations about masculinity generate heated debates. But if we truly want to contribute to a dialogue that fosters understanding and growth, we need to find a balance: validating the pain of victims of violence, while also providing safe spaces for men to express themselves without fear of being labeled or silenced.

The male wound , in many cases, arises from emotional repression and a set of cultural expectations that demand constant strength and denial of vulnerability. Many men, throughout history, have been socialized to believe that expressing pain or vulnerability is a sign of weakness. When there is no space to process these emotions, the risk of aggressive behavior increases, perpetuating cycles of pain.

Education and Culture: Challenges and Contradictions

Another point that complicates the dialogue about relationships, consent and emotional maturity is the impact of culture on education. How can we educate young people about sexuality in a conscious and healthy way if, as a society, we are still confronting our own limitations and taboos regarding desire?

Many adults have never fully explored their own sexuality, carrying with them prejudices, fears and shame. Sexuality, although a natural and instinctive impulse, is shrouded in taboos and is filtered by cultural norms that often repress rather than educate. Exploration and self-knowledge are fundamental, but there is still a lack of spaces and discourses that encourage this in a safe and respectful way.

The Paradox of Norms and Subjectivity

If we look back in time, we will see that many cultural practices that are considered problematic today were once common and even normative. For example, in our grandparents’ time, it was socially acceptable for a 15-year-old girl to marry an older man. Today, this practice is widely condemned, and for good reason. Modern understanding recognizes that at 15, a young girl is still in a stage of emotional and psychological development, which makes it difficult for her to fully understand the complexities of an intimate relationship with an adult man.

However, how can we objectively determine what is appropriate or not?

The world, when analyzed deeply, is full of subjectivities. Morality, ethics, and even laws are, for the most part, cultural constructs that change over time. What was acceptable fifty years ago may no longer be acceptable today, and what is considered correct in one society may be questionable in another.

An Invitation to Reflective Dialogue

The complexity of human relationships and the impact of cultural norms require a more thoughtful approach. We need to acknowledge that male suffering is real and that emotional repression can lead to destructive behavior. At the same time, we cannot ignore the painful experiences of so many women and the social structures that perpetuate these inequalities.

The challenge is to create spaces where we can have deep, honest and respectful dialogues. We need sexual education that goes beyond taboos, promoting a healthy understanding of the body and desire. And, above all, we need to recognize that we are all part of the same society, whose problems will not be solved through polarizations, but rather through understanding, empathy and the desire to build a more conscious world.

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Post Writings:

In my search to delve deeper into this topic by looking at the "surface", that is, not delving too deeply into the layers of the unconscious, but with a more objective view of the subject, I found texts and this incredible interview with researcher Isabela Venturoza.

I invite everyone to watch and follow her incredible work on masculinity.

Now, what do you think about masculinity today? Leave your opinion in the comments or share this text with someone who is interested in the topic.